Previous Limericks

May 16

“If we didn’t do any testing we would have very few cases.” ~ Donald J. Trump

The number of cases we’ve had?
We’re testing! That’s why we look bad!
If we don’t persist
Then they don’t exist!
It’s better already. I’m glad.

May 15

Headline: Trump Storms Out After Reporter’s Question

I hate these damn female reporters.
They don’t act like true Trump supporters.
They’re up in my face
And they don’t know their place.
And they sure aren’t hot like my daughters.

May 14

Headline: Ousted Vaccine Chief Says Virus Is Still Everywhere

I wish that our leadership might
Admit we’ve a terrible plight.
But Doc Bright’s discarded,
His fears disregarded!
(Our President sure isn’t Bright!)

May 14

Headline: Trump Floats Idea of “Obamagate” Conspiracy. Offers no details.

The case is quite open and shut.
His evil intent is clear-cut.
Obama’s foul crimes?
The worst in Our Times!
HE’S GUILTY!… (don’t ask me of what)

May 13

Headline: Fauci tells Congress that states face serious consequences if they reopen too quickly

Hey, Fauci – you’re pissing me off!
My ratings are stuck in a trough!
Do people feel sickly?
Who cares?! Open quickly!
Oh, crap!….did I hear someone cough?

May 12

Headline: President Will Not Self-Isolate

I’m Donald. I will not demean
My Self with a dumb quarantine.
Life gives me preferment;
I have a deferment.
(Psst, Fauci?…You got that vaccine?)

May 11

Headline: A cluster of coronavirus cases in California was traced to a coughing patient at a birthday party

Fed up with predictions of doom?
And angry you’re stuck in your room?
Go party, my friend!
And I will attend
Your funeral service on Zoom.

May 10

Taking a break from politics in honor of Mother’s Day:

I wish all a great Mother’s Day.
Though this year it’s odd, I must say.
What kind of day is it —
The kids can’t come visit,
And we’re getting frostbite in May.

May 9

Headline: Pence’s Press Secretary Tests Positive for Virus

I’m Donald. I never act wary.
This virus? It’s not even scary!
And wear PPE?
Hell, that you won’t see….
(Hey, Mike — where’s your press secretary?)

May 8

Headline: Justice Department to Free Flynn

We’re going to spring Michael Flynn
Despite his admission of sin.
Could I say how far
Trump’s lowered the Barr?
I just don’t know where to begin….!

May 8

Headline: President’s Valet Tests Positive for Coronavirus

The President has been exposed!

(It’s not what you might have supposed –

Just to his valet.

He still gets away

With much that should get him deposed

May 7

Headline: Trump Says Press Treats Him Worse Than it Did Abraham Lincoln

The President says that it’s stinkin.’

The press treats him worse than Abe Lincoln!

Don’t know if he’s joking

Or what he’s been smoking,

But surely the man isn’t thinkin’!

May 6

Headline: Trump Claims Virus is from Chinese Lab

The virus is from the Chinese!

Their lab is what caused this disease!

(We really can’t tell,

But hey, what the hell,

We always blame just who we please.)

May 5

Headline: Trump Attacks Accusers

The President calls his accusers

A whole bunch of liars and losers.

Yet each time he tweets

He merely repeats

“I am my own worst of abusers.”

May 4

Headline: Trump Lashes Out After Bush Video

“Be nice” says ex-President Bush.
Yet Donald screams at him to shush!
Now friends, just between us,
While George was no genius
‘Tis Donald who thinks with his tush.

May 1

Headline: White House Blocks Fauci from Testifying Before Congress


Afraid what the man might avouch, he

(The Donald) won’t trust Dr. Fauci

Doc’s ratings are splendid —

Don wants that all ended.

If not, it will make him quite Grauci.

April 28

Headline: Pence Visits Mayo Clinic, Does Not Wear Mask

I ‘m so very nervous and tense
From worrying ‘bout our Mike Pence.
At Mayo, no mask!
(I just have to ask…
Do they have a treatment for “dense”?)

April 24

Headline: Trump Suggests Disinfectants as Cure

The President thinks that Purell
Will cure us and make us all well.
He’s no longer keen
On Hydroxychloroquine
Because it’s much harder to spell.

Author: Steve Hirsch

Steve is a retired high-tech marketing specialist and former chairman of a college humanities division. He's a lover of Shakespeare and classical music, so he writes limericks and plays the accordion. Go figure.

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