Electoral College – Polimericks

January 6

Headline: “Dirty Dozen” GOP Senators Reveal Surgery Before Vote Certification

It’s painless — a quick operation

Performed in full view of the nation.

They’ve had their impacted

Small Scruples extracted…

A comfortable Moral Castration.

Headline: Cruz and 11 Other GOP Senators Demand “Audit” of Votes

Memo to Senator Cruz:

Now Don’s been heard turning the screws.

And since he’s been caught, it’s

Not wise to shout “Audits!”

It brands you as part of the ruse.

Headline: Sen. Hawley of Missouri to Object to Electoral College Results

The Electoral vote has no cred,

So the Ass from Missouri has said.

So we’ll all bear the brunt

Of a meaningless stunt

While he’s beating a horse that’s quite dead.

Headline: McConnell’s Acceptance of Results Frees Other Republicans to Do the Same

Mitch, the majority whip

Has now slightly loosened his grip.

Despite Donald’s howl,

He’s thrown in the towel,

So the rats can abandon the ship.

Headline: Electoral College Seals Biden Win

The writing’s on all of the walls,

And now, GOP, country calls.

It’s time to move on

And disavow Don:

Or haven’t you yet grown the balls…?

Headline: Electoral College to Formally Elect Joe Biden Today

The Electors are meeting today,

And we know what they’re going to say:

With no ambiguity

And calm continuity —

It’s “Donald J. Trump: Go Away.”