Headline: Pence, Christie, Other Prominent Republicans Campaign Against Trump Primary Picks
The Donald must find this quite jolting,
But some in the party are bolting!
They’re still quite extreme,
But sing a new theme:
“The new GOP! We’re revolting!”
Headline: GOP Candidates Continue to Stress Ties to Trump
Now GOP candidates, please,
There’s no need to drop to your knees
And show the whole Nation
Your butt osculation
And really bad case of DTs.
Headline: GOP Senators Oppose Independent Insurrection Investigation
What say the GOP purists?
Hey, what insurrection? They’re tourists!
It’s not even quasi
The same as Benghazi…
(It could end with us facing jurists!)
Headline: Republicans Strip Cheney of Leadership Role
The GOP’s now sold its souls
To liars and conmen and trolls.
Now they’ve got rid of Liz;
The whole Party is his —
Ask not for whom the bell tolls.
Headline: Republicans Boo Romney, Prepare to Oust Cheney
No more milquetoast hawings and hemmings!
Republicans! On with condemnings!
And spare not the axe
For those dealing with facts,
But march ever forward, O Lemmings!
Headline: Republicans Increase Attacks on Voting Access, Liz Cheney
Republicans! Oh, they’re so zany!
They’re trying to silence Liz Cheney,
And claim they’re protecting
The rights they’re rejecting
And swearing it’s dry while it’s raining.
Headline: Despite Evidence, Most Republican Senators Will Vote Party Line on Impeachment
What? Judge with a true open mind?
How silly; we’re lock-step aligned —
We do not see evidence
Against Party Presidents,
As, after all, Justice is Blind.
Headline: GOP Refuses to Condemn Representatives Advancing Conspiracy Theories
There’s Pedophile Pizza in Queens!
The Covid shot alters your genes!
(Include Jewish Lasers –
They’ll help your fund raisers.
And don’t forget chips in vaccines.)
Headline: GOP Signals it Will Oppose Biden’s $15 Minimum Wage Proposal
We are the true friends of the masses!
Defenders of you lower classes.
But a fifteen buck wage
Isn’t fiscally sage….
(They’ll buy it, the credulous asses.)
Headline: In Impeachment Debates, GOP Calls for “Unity”
Suddenly, they’re all for “unity,”
Which means: “We are seeking immunity
From all guilt and remorse,
As we never, of course,
Let him bully and lie with impunity.”